We had the good fortune of connecting with Kristina Rowe and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Kristina, life can be so busy as an adult, and for many, especially those who’ve moved to a new city, making friends can be hard. We’d love to hear your thoughts?
As adults, we often create our own roadblocks to making friends. We say “that won’t work for me,” or “Meetup is lame” or “ no one has time to get together.” Sometimes, we’re not sure people will like and accept us, so we make excuses for not reaching out. If we want to make more connections with other people, we have to start knocking down those roadblocks.

Here’s an idea that might help. Just about everyone has at some point tried to coax a smile out of a baby. It’s a low-risk, high-reward activity. Try to think of making new friends in the same way. Here’s what I mean.

We will try all kinds of things to make babies smile. Big smiles, raised eyebrows, funny faces, peek-a-boo – we try them all with no shame. What if we approached making friends the same way? Bring your happiest self and try new and different things. Greet people you meet with that same confidence and enthusiasm.

We don’t worry about the baby judging us. We don’t feel bad if we fail. We know if the baby doesn’t smile back it’s not our fault. We really need to approach potential friends with these same thoughts. Sometimes you’ll just have a pleasant one-time interaction, and that’s OK. Most people are happy to meet and talk to someone new.

We don’t worry about not measuring up. We don’t judge the baby. When you see a baby – any baby – you instinctively try to make them smile. It feels good, and yet we don’t treat adults the same way. I think we write off a lot of people as potential friends because they don’t meet some internal checklist we’ve made. Be open to making friends with people from different backgrounds. You may be surprised at how much you have in common.

We don’t keep score. We don’t count our successes and failures in our baby encounters, and we shouldn’t do that with potential friendships either. In a new friendship, you might have to initiate plans more often than the other person. It’s possible you’ll have to do more of the talking at first. Those things tend to balance out over time, so don’t miss out on a great connection by reading something into that. Be willing to give and share with new friends.

If you’d like more tips on how (and where) to find new friends in Dallas, there’s an article on inBigD.com about it. If sheltering in place has made it harder, I’ve got some ideas for that too. If you’re already ready to meet new people, check out my Meetup group – Making Friends in Big D.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
By day, I’m a training specialist, My background is in customer service, as a rep and as a trainer. But now, I’m in a support role for a large IT department, writing release notes and online help documentation for our software. I’m so grateful to have a good job that challenges me, but isn’t so demanding that I don’t have time for fun. (Paid vacation slaps!!!)

I started inBigD.com when I didn’t have a full-time job and had a hard time getting a job in my field. A combination of service jobs, freelance writing gigs, and even on-demand food delivery kept a roof over my head. All those jobs helped me make valuable connections which led me to other opportunities. Those opportunities inspired me to create a website that featured all the fun in Dallas that’s not just for the well-off.

It wasn’t easy, but it was really important to me to share the joy and fun you can find, even when life doesn’t seem to be going your way. Now that I’m working full-time, I have less time to write, but when I do, I feel like it really matters. I still find as much fun as I can on the weekends and share it through social media.

My social handle is justmeinbigd, and the “just me” part is the key to my story. First of all, I’m happily single, and I do a lot of things by myself, so the “just me” part is literal. I’m also “just me” in that my pics and selfies are less than perfect. I’m really just being myself and encouraging others to do the same. I don’t eat at the most expensive places, and I almost never drink alcohol. You won’t find the hottest clubs or brunch spots in my feed, but you’ll find Dallas treasures and hidden gems that make everyday moments magic. To me it’s a priority to focus on fun that’s accessible to everyone. I also love to champion small businesses and the smaller side of Big D. I want to help people find the happiest and friendliest places in town.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
Well, I sure hope they’d visit during the State Fair of Texas! State Fair time is my favorite time of year. I know Fair Park like the back of my hand, and I can’t think of anything better than a day of Fletcher’s corny dogs and Big Tex selfies. We’d eat all the crazy fried food and get some outstanding samples at the Celebrity Chef kitchen too. Fair Park is pretty special year round, so it would be on the list no matter what. I love the African American Museum so we’d definitely make a stop there, and I’d want to show them the model train exhibit and the butterfly garden at Texas Discovery Gardens. We could go across the street and see the fun art at Rainbow Vomit and maybe sample some mezcal and elotes at Las Almas Rotas. A side trip to Smokey John’s Bar-B-Que would give them a chance to see the home of last year’s State Fair Big Tex Choice Award winners. A sliced brisket sandwich and some sweet potato pie will make a perfect dinner.

I love downtown, so on another day I’d definitely show them Dealey Plaza and Old Red. I’d take them to Pegasus Plaza and tell them the Pegasus story and we’d go to Thanksgiving Chapel and see that amazing stained glass spiral inside. We could have breakfast at Ellen’s, lunch at The Woolworth, happy hour at Five Sixty, and dinner at Dakota’s. We can get coffee and treats at Flying Horse Cafe, Dude Sweet Chocolate, Queso Beso, and Pegasus City Brewing (once it opens that magnificent second location.) That looks like way too much food for one day, so we’ll save some of those for another day, which we’ll spend in the Arts District. I always have to stroll through the Hall Arts Sculpture Walk. The sculpture garden at the Nasher is a must, as is the Crow Museum of Asian Art. At the Dallas Museum of Art,I’d show them the Wendy and Emery Reves Collection and then choose a current exhibition to see. A stop at Klyde Warren Park is a must when visiting the Arts District. We can get a grilled cheese sandwich from the Ruthie’s for Good food truck, and we absolutely have to take a ride on the McKinney Avenue trolley. If we get off at West Village, we’ll definitely get a cruffin or a tart or some macarons from Bisous Bisous Pâtisserie. After riding the trolley back, we can take a short walk to Fountain Place and see the fountains. In the evening we might catch a Dallas Theater Center show at the Wyly Theatre or a Dallas Symphony Orchestra concert at the Meyerson Symphony Center.

If anyone’s in town on a Thursday, I’d absolutely want to take them to Cattleack BBQ for the best brisket I’ve ever had. For tacos and margaritas, we’d definitely go to Desperados on Greenville Avenue. For more Tex-Mex, and strolling Mariachis, we’d want to go to El Ranchito in Oak Cliff. We could also see a show at The Kessler or a movie at Texas Theatre. I’m not sure how we’d fit it all in, but I’d absolutely want to go shopping in Bishop Arts. Yaya Tex Mex Yogurt and Espumoso Caffe are my favorite places for treats, and we could check out all the murals in the area.

Speaking of murals, we can’t miss out on Deep Ellum, so for sure we’d go see those. We’d also want to sample the food and drinks at Allgood Cafe, Local, Easy Slider, and Braindead Brewing. Drinks and a show at Dallas Comedy House would also be fun. At night, we might check out a show at Deep Ellum Art Co or Three Links.

Of course, I want to show off the Dallas Arboretum and while we’re in the neighborhood, we’d check out some of my favorite local places like Goodfriend Burger and Beer Garden, Good Records, 20 Feet Seafood Joint, Dowdy Studio, White Rock Coffee, and Lounge Here. I’d definitely take them to Rooster’s Home and Hardware so they can meet George the Rooster. Before heading home, I’d make sure to get my friend the best souvenir ever, an oh-so-Dallas tee shirt from Bullzerk. That means a trip to the Dallas Farmers Market, where I’d also want to stop in to Lone Chimney Mercantile. If it’s a market day, we’ll stroll through the stalls in The Shed, and we might even get lucky and catch a special event like a food festival or live music or a cooking demo. I guess I filled up a full seven-day itinerary there, and I still haven’t included ALL of my favorite places. But I’d be fine to go at a slower pace and only do half that. They can always come back for another visit, right?

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
While Reddit is not my favorite social media platform, I have to give credit to r/dallas for helping me find a purpose for inBigD.com. Of course it’s OK to blog just for fun, and I’ve always focused on happiness in my content, but I wasn’t sure anyone had a real reason to read my posts. When I started reading the Dallas subreddit regularly to get ideas of things to write about, I saw numerous posts about how hard it can be to make friends in Dallas. I was inspired to try to help.

I wrote a Dallas-specific guide to making friends, and then I decided to take my own advice. Right before New Year’s Eve, I started a meetup group, Making Friends in Big D. In a few short months, it has over 400 members. In our first 3 months, over 10% of the group had attended at least one event. I want to thank all of those people as well as our members who have been supportive online but haven’t been able to attend anything yet. They’ve made me feel like I’m making a difference, and they’re making a difference in my life too.

Website: https://inbigd.com/index.html
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/justmeinbigd/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristinarowe/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/justmeinbigd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InBigD/
Other: https://www.meetup.com/Making-Friends-in-Big-D/